Identifying and Overcoming Self-Sabotage - Part 1 of 5

Self-Sabotage – we all do it to some degree, some more than others, but we all do it. But why? None of us starts out the day, or the month or year…or our lives saying,” I am going to sabotage things that I really want to be, do or have in life.” So how does it start? Why do we do it?

The answer to this question lies in our subconscious mind. Until the age of around 7, we are all just subconscious minds running around. The conscious mind has not formed yet, so we are open and susceptible to all images, words and emotions that we are exposed to and interact with during that period of our lives. After that, our conscious minds come into play and we go about thinking, reasoning and living life. Also, what we habitually think about with our conscious mind even as we grow older eventually sinks down into the subconscious mind. What we don’t realize is that we are really being controlled by those emotions (energetic vibrations) that still reside in our subconscious minds. And here is where our fears lie…quietly and unconsciously driving our thoughts and actions. Once the subconscious mind accepts an idea, it goes to work to begin to execute it. It works for the bad idea as well as it does for the good idea. Thus, we can think we want one thing, but if the subconscious believe differently, it will create the opposite and we will self-sabotage.

So, how are we able to discover our self-sabotage and change it so that we can create the health, wealth and happiness that we really want in life? Below is the first step in a 5 part series on changing self-sabotage so that we can move ahead into creating our desired results:

1) Awareness. We must first be still and become aware of where we self-sabotage. Sitting down and journaling where we observe ourselves sabotaging what we really want in life can give us a map to follow. Start out by listing what your goals and dreams are in life – you don’t need to get detailed at this point, just allow yourself to write down what you would love to be, do or have in your life if you had a magic wand and could just make it happen with a wave of that wand. Then start to think about why you don’t have them and any instances you can consciously think of where you were headed in the direction of achieving your goal or dream and something happened to stop it. Write it down and don’t judge it as good or bad. Just become aware. This is the first important step.

I AM SO I CAN Book Launch Set for Nov. 2, 2009

Self-esteem – ahhhhh….that personal quality we all strive for in ourselves and want to make sure we develop in our children as well. Author, speaker and life coach Charlene Nelson remembers a third grade classmate coming up to her and giving her a long list of what was wrong with her, including, but not limited to: “Stupid looking hair, ugly buck teeth, skinny arms and legs, too many moles and big ears.” Woo! She remembers as a young girl naively accepting all this criticism and crying at home that evening to her parents that she was not enough….not pretty enough, not good enough, not smart enough, not popular enough, not….enough! Her parents, in their attempts to help, told her to go back to school the next day and promptly tell that little boy all the things that were wrong with him – which she did! (which included, you’re mean!) It helped in the immediate sense of “take that you jerk!” but in the long run, there was a subconscious part of her that continued to believe those statements through much of her life growing up, which led to….well, that’s another article for another day.

Fast forward to today. After working through her subconscious untruths, Charlene went on to live her purpose and dreams as a wife, mother, successful business woman, artist, entrepreneur and now author and speaker on the subject of Conscious Living and Conscious Leadership. She was also instrumental as mother and coach in helping her daughter, Megan, work through her own journey of self-discovery and self-assurance as she developed her business leadership skills and her thriving photography business.

Together, they have recently published a children’s book, I AM So I Can which helps parents teach children the power of our thoughts and words in creating self-esteem and success in life. When parents are empowered with the information that is taught simply and beautifully through statements and photographs in this book, they can help their children know and create from the truth of who they really are.

The public is invited to celebrate the launch of their book; I AM, So I Can, on Monday, November 2, 2009 at the Salt Lake City Library, fourth floor conference room, from 6:30 – 8:30 PM. Refreshments will be served and additional projects and products related to the book will be available and announced.

I Am So I Can preview