5 Steps to Help Children Build Self-Esteem

Children typically view life as “the glass is half full”. When we grow older and become teenagers, adults, and parents it’s easy to get beaten down by life. Life can come at you quickly. But children don’t always see it that way. They see life a full and meaningful. The question we have to ask ourselves is how can we raise our children in a way to always be thinking in a positive way, and giving them a positive outlook on life and positive self-esteem?


5 Steps to help children build positive self-esteem:

1) Positive Parents:

A child’s parents must have and exhibit positive self-esteem. Children are just subconscious minds running around until the age of around 7 years of age. They are like little sponges, soaking in everything they see, hear taste and smell as the truth, as their reality. How parents create and account for their results and reality is what the children will do.

2) Positive Environment:

If the language in the home is positive, that is what the children will grow up expressing. If there is positive music, books, pictures, movies, television, discussions, atmosphere, etc. then the child is much more likely to reflect that in his environment at school and other places away from home.

3) Positive Self Talk:

“I Am” statements create our reality. Thoughts and words are creative energy and will not only reflect what we think about ourselves, but will set in motion the creation of what we speak.

“I Am So I Can” statements are positive ways of thinking and believing in yourself. The benefit of teaching this to children when they are younger is that it conditions them to continue it as they grow older. “I Am Truth So I Can have integrity throughout my life, and to instill it my family and children”. “I Am Smart So I Can get into any college I want to”.

4) Positive Activities:

Being given and held accountable for chores and schoolwork are great ways to set up opportunities for children to achieve success and feel good about their selves. If chores are assigned on a regular basis, with help on how to achieve the desired results and expectations set for measurement of achieving success in those chores, then a child begins to understand cause and effect and they learn they are the creator of their results. This applies to schoolwork as well. If parents are engaged and enthusiastic about learning, then their children will follow that example.

Extra-curricular activities are important as well as chores. Be open and supportive to whatever your child is interested in. If they don’t know, then help them discover their passions. Enroll them into these activities whether it is sports, dance, art class, or boy/girl scouts. This will help them develop their talents, which inevitably develops their self-esteem. And don’t be so quick to let them quit. Find out the underlying reason. Are they truly not interested, or do they feel like they aren’t good enough so they should just quit? Encourage them to develop their talents and skills, and get excited with them. Help them understand what opportunities it could lead them to in their future.


5) Positive Service: When children are given opportunities to serve others and are taught from an early age to be observant of others and where there may be opportunities to help, then they will naturally feel good about themselves as they move into action learning selfless thought and behavior.